You know, the kind you'll never forget that just makes you realize just how bright they are.  Now I'm not saying anyone is stupid per-say... but just one of those times that silence is the only response you can give them.  Here are some I have heard in my lifetime...

Me: *Looking at pictures of birds* Oh that's pretty, what is that a cardinal?
Friend: I guess that works, I was thinking blue jay but then I remembered that they can be any color except red.
Me: *Pauses* Are you thinking of Sapphires?  
Friend: That's right! I was thinking of Rubies not cardinals...
Me: ...

Me: I need to get the speakers in my car fixed.  I was told if I flip the padding inside that I can stop the waffling sound.  I'm just curious how that will effect the sound.
Friend: NO! Don't do that! Then the music will come out backwards!
Me: ...

Friend: Alas! Mortality! My ONE weakness!
Me: ...

Friend: These aren't bad generic M&M's what are they called?
Other friend: M&M's... why?
Friend: The 3's on them confused me.
Me: ...

And of course a friend who always uses "Fuck" as a hyphen for his sentence structure.
Friend: Look at that guy's Japanese Fucking Suite.
Me: His WHAT?!?!?! 0___. What do they use those for?!?!?!

So that concludes my little show and tell, how about the rest of you guys? Any funny quotes from friends or family?  Please share I'd love to hear about them! ^0^

~Levi